How to write copy that makes you a millionaire (and awesome examples of nailing it)

Full disclosure, you may not become a millionaire straight away, but get onto this pronto and you’ll be well on your way there. Because copy counts. The words you’re writing on your website, on your Facebook and on your Twitter matter. You’re helping people but you’re also a business. You’re trying to sell shit after all (and of course it’s not shit. It’s amazing). You need words that sell. That dance. That glitter. That get people excited. Or make people laugh. That make your products and services irresistible. So we just have to have it.

And the best way to show you how it’s done? Is to give you some awesome examples. Indulge. And eat some marshmallows on me. Well not on me. We’re not here.

J Petermans

How to write copy that makes you a millionaire via The Best Product Descriptions
Yes they use drawings. To sell clothes. And descriptions that draw you in. Like this.

She knows it happened.

If she’d been born a half century earlier, in an era of ocean voyages, letter writing, and well-to-do families from Charleston summering in Tuscany.

She’s 18 years old, not yet aware of the effect she has on men.

Not entirely.

He sketches her, in this dress, drifting on the pond. They exchange secrets. So incredibly serious. A lifetime in a month.

She would never be able to explain any of it to her friends back in Charleston. The sketch he gave her would have to do.

The sketch, in fact, froze the moment, and her very nicely. Later, in fact, he became quite a famous painter. Of course, by then, nobody would be able to understand his paintings at all.

1911 Dress (No. 3681). Made with the same pure linen with soft cotton lining. Sleeveless with that squared neckline. Seven horizontal panels create the drop waist bodice. Low-calf length.

Timeless elegance.

Lush Cosmetics

How to write copy that makes you a millionaire via The Best Product Descriptions

I’ve got this shower gel and I bought it because I just couldn’t resist. It’s so much fun. For when you feel like an alien. Read on.

Inside this wobbly life form we’ve trapped fresh organic lemon and lime juice, freshly squeezed grapefruit juice, grapefruit essential oil, rosemary oil and geranium oil.  This is a fruity citrus blaster that will propel you out of the shower and into a new space and time.

If you haven’t felt the effect of seaweed gel on your skin – then you really should buy this and try it.

Whoosh was named after the sound of deadlines whizzing by. Useful for renewed focus when tired, jet lagged or revising for exams.

Our shower jellies are a wobbly good time and you might have to chase them round the shower a bit, because they tend to make a jump for freedom.  But keep a firm grip and get it all over you because you are going to love how soft and supple your skin feels from the softening seaweed.

Our jellies are also wobbly versatile, because that seaweed gel is not just really softening on your skin, it’s also great for hair and scalp – so don’t be afraid to use it all over.

Chill it, freeze it or use it straight from the pot – whichever temperature you choose, just stroke our wobbly bit over your wobbly bits under a running shower.


How to write copy that makes you a millionaire via The Best Product Descriptions

So, knives are boring right? Not anymore. You know you want one.

‘T’was Zwilling! And ‘t’was also J.A Henckels. And a paring knife, for that matter. ‘T’was a lot of things, really.

Look, maybe there’s some world where you can keep order with a paramilitary force made up of playing cards, but around here? Around here, we’ve got some physical laws to keep on the right side of. No talking caterpillars, no cookies that make you change size, absolutely NO rabbits that can tell time, and most certainly, not a single foodstuff that a 3″ Paring Knife from Zwilling J.A. Henckels can’t help your carve up all stylish like.

Is there a place where people use vorpal swords to peel their potatoes with a snicker-snack!? A place where JubJub birds don’t actually have seeds that need to be removed? In THAT world, there would be no need for a nice piece of cutlery.

But in this world, if you think you can maintain a useful kitchen without being prepared to have an nice little all purpose knife… well. You’d just better hope you never run into a Bandersnatch desperate for a peeled JubJub fruit.

Think Geek

How to write copy that makes you a millionaire via The Best Product Descriptions

Think geek stuff is sad? Not when you read product descriptions like this. Your very own Bellagio.


As geeks, we find Las Vegas to be a fascinating city. For starters, we get to indulge our picky eating habits at giant buffets. Then we can observe legions of people at the slot machines, blissfully and willfully ignorant of the laws of probability. We can collect trading cards from those nice guys in neon t-shirts. (We’re sure it’s a TCG.) Outside of Treasure Island, we can watch a show about pirates that involves fire and explosions. Then it’s off to our favorite casino for some Texas Hold ‘Em.

If your trip to Vegas isn’t complete without the fountain show at the Bellagio, our Light Show Fountain Speakers are relevant to your interests. Plug them into your iPod, mp3 player, or computer via the included USB cable and start up your tunes: the water inside will dance to the beat and the 4 multi-colored LEDs will light up. Take your tunes to a new level with the Light Show Fountain Speakers and your wallet to a whole new high since you won’t need to go to Vegas for a fun fountain show.

Urban Daddy

How to write copy that makes you a millionaire via The Best Product Descriptions

Masters of the game. And if you live in the US you need to sign up to the uber cool site. Yes I said uber. I’m uncool. Unlike Urban Daddy.

You’ve got a lot of wishes. And today, one shall be fulfilled.

No, not the one where someone makes a pizza-bagel-flavored cereal.

The other one.

Open the door and say hello to Drizly, a Boston-based app for getting honest-to-goodness alcohol delivered to your place in the city proper, available now for iPhone.

Yes, this is legal (we checked). The developers partnered with an ID-investigation company so that, upon arrival, the delivery driver will run a forensic check on your license involving UV light and barcode scanning, age confirmation and, you know, looking at your picture (if they question you, just explain you’ve been working out).

So let’s say you have a dinner party, and you want to ensure you don’t run out of hooch. You’ll start by downloading the app. Enter your address to confirm you’re in their delivery area and your credit card info. Then, begin shopping. With the exception of kegs, you can get delivered within 30 to 60 minutes anything you would normally pick up at, say, Gordon’s in Watertown (whom they work with).

About that delivery: your inaugural one comes in a special wood crate, along with your mishmash of libations and a key chain. Oh, and a mason jar.

In case you’re drinking with Grandma.


How to write copy that makes you a millionaire via The Best Product Descriptions

So Soft, We Couldn’t Name It Anything Else. That’s what they start with. Just below the softness of the womb of a marshmallow mermaid. Um, yes.

Why is this blanket so soft? Because it’s made with 100% Vagisoft. And just how soft is Vagisoft? Let us explain:

Once upon a time, the world of tactile technology was satisfied with “soft as a baby’s bottom” as the measure of absolute softness. Anyone who dared name something “softer than” the aforementioned infant’s posterior was suggesting a theoretical world of soft that existed beyond anything man could conceive.

Then Betabrand researchers invented the Tactile Soft-O-Meter®, a device that can detect and compare the density of softrons, the subatomic units of softness. Using this newfound knowledge, they were able to create a blanket so ineffably comfy, test subjects had to be unwrapped from it with the Jaws of Life!

But to the chagrin of our marketing department, the Soft-O-Meter indicated that the fabric they used measured “Vagisoft” within a standard deviation of one softron. Vagisoft? Well, we decided that if the Soft-O-meter says it, so be it.

The Pearl Girls

How to write copy that makes you a millionaire via The Best Product Descriptions

From the Pearl Girls comes this delightful gem pearl that you simply cannot help getting excited over. You want to be that woman. I know I do.

The allure of pearls.

Is it the prestige?

The innocence?

The elegance?

The simplicity?

The unspoken sense of confidence?

…Or perhaps the soft spoken hint of seduction.

Whatever it is, one thing’s for certain: You’ll never be overlooked–but very much looked over. Covetingly. With envy. And evoking a magnetic irresistibility that’ll leave mouths agape, martinis unsipped and even the most composed woman in the room second guessing herself.

They’ll whisper: Who is she?

Yet, she won’t have to say a word.

Because her pearls?

Already said everything.

Genuine Cultured Pearls from The Pearl Girls.

Because while diamonds may be a girl’s best friend, pearls are her best kept secret.

To my women.
Who would you rather be?

The woman with the pearls…or the woman watching her?


See what’s happening here? It’s compelling. It draws you in. And you can do it with absolutely anything you sell.

So, hows your copy looking? Got any more awesome examples? Got one of your own? 

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